Time To See
Caution. Trigger warning. I'm trying to get better. And Ill try not to post depressing posts.
ever have that feeling when you just want to give up everything because you just don’t feel you’re enough?
Chapters from my life (via melindacarolinee)
I’ve always put myself down. Over and over. “You’re ugly” “You’re fat” “You’re disgusting” “you’re stupid” And what purpose does that really serve? I’m just beating myself up. And making myself feel like shit. I’m making myself so small. So I started to think, what are my good traits? I may not be gorgeous. I may get acne. My teeth aren’t perfect. But I do feel pretty sometimes. I may not be as thin as I was. But does an extra 10 pounds really define who I am? I like having an hour glass figure. I’m such a klutz. I run into walls, I burn frozen pizzas, most the time I’m slow at getting jokes and I make a mess without realizing. I’ll shake the ranch and forget I took off the cap. I used to beat myself up over that. But those little quirks make me who I am and it makes people laugh and they find it endearing. My boyfriend has seen me with a full face of makeup and he’s seen me with not a stitch on. With my acne scars. He’s seen my body with cellulite and a few extra pounds and still thinks I am beautiful. So why can’t I see that? Why am I still beating myself up? Maybe it’s because I got told that everyday in school but I’m so tired of it. There will always be someone prettier, skinnier and smarter. There is only one me in the entire world. And I’m sick of spending my life beating myself up and telling myself how awful I am. I want to accept myself. I may not be the prettiest or skinniest but I have a lot of great things to offer. I know I’m a kind, caring, funny person. And most important of all, I may not be perfect but I’m finally getting okay with that. Maybe if we focus on the good we may see that we do have a lot to offer and that we are good enough.
